Safe Sex: An Alternative

(Above: Eddie and his girlfriend)

I am not sure what to say about this one:

Man Caught with Pants Down and an Armless Mannequin in Public Park

KANAWHA COUNTY, W.Va. (WSAZ) -- A man is behind bars for committing "lewd acts" with a mannequin in a public park Sunday morning.

According to the Kanawha County Sheriff's Department, 61-year-old Eddie M. Campbell from Belle was caught at Booker T. Washington Memorial Park in Malden with his shirt off and his pants around his ankles.

Deputies say Campbell was sitting on a park bench with an armless mannequin on his lap, holding it with one hand -- pleasuring himself with the other.

When the deputy identified himself, Campbell stopped, pushed the mannequin off him and pulled his pants up.

All of this happened in a residential area and close to a church, according to Deputies.

Campbell has been charged with indecent exposure. He gave up his right to have an attorney represent him during arraignment

Campbell is in the South Central Jail on a $2,500 cash only bond.

Look on the bright side: At least there was not another human being (like a child) involved. Sick! Sick! Sick!